Witches were never burned at the stake during the Salem Witch Trials.
Out of all the women and men convicted, 19 were sentenced to death by hanging, one was pressed to death under heavy stones, and others died in jail while awaiting trial- but no witches were executed by burning in the English colonies of North America, because the law did not permit it.
This is a call out post for one Principality Aziraphale, Guardian of the Eastern Gate, Angel of the flaming sword:
If your demon boyfriend in shades steps on consecrated ground to save you from Nazis (or for any other reason tbh) you do the honorable thing and pick. him. up!
The Nazi scene where nothing changes except Crowley does the whole thing from Aziraphale’s arms.
“Sorry, consecrated ground. Ah! It’s like…beingatthebeachinbarefeet!” Crowley hopped and tiptoed down the aisle, already feeling his skin blistering in his socks.
Aziraphale looked outraged. “What are you doing here?” he hissed.
“Stopping you from getting into troub–hEY!”
Aziraphale glowered at Crowley like he hadn’t literally swept Crowley off his feet and was now holding the demon in his arms. Crowley’s arms looped around Aziraphale’s neck instinctively, but the rest of him was stunned into stillness and silence.
“What are you doing on consecrated ground? You know what it does to you!”
“I. Um. How are you holding me like this?” Crowley looked down like he expected Aziraphale to be floating. “I’ve seen you try to run, you’re not exactly the most–”
“Don’t you change the subject on me!”
“Me?! You’re the one who–!”
One of the Nazis cleared their throat. Crowley blinked - he’d completely forgotten they were there, too busy distracted by the ethereal flash Aziraphale’s eyes took on when he was truly irritated, and the disgustingly comfortable way he fit in the angel’s arms.
“I should have known, of course! These people are working for you,” Aziraphale accused him. They were almost nose-to-nose like this. (Satan bless sunglasses, because Aziraphale did not need to know how intently Crowley was staring at his pursed lips.)
Crowley reared back in offense (and maybe to make Aziraphale’s hand press into his back just a little harder). “No, they’re a bunch of half-witted Nazi spies running around London blackmailing and murdering people! I just didn’t want to see you embarrassed–ANGEL!” he yelped as Aziraphale shook him (but never, Crowley noticed, wavered in his grip; not once).
Due to colder weather and fewer ponds, the country has no mosquito population …except for one that’s been in a jar of alcohol at the Icelandic Institute of Natural History since the 1980s, when a University of Iceland biologist caught it inside an airplane.
“I chased it around the cabin until I got it… It’s the only mosquito I’ve ever found in Iceland.”
- Blendo was put together before Mythbusters was a thing - Blendo was so strong and dangerous (for throwing debris into the audience) that The Boys were asked to withdraw it in exchange for a co champion title - they re-entered Blendo years later when the protective wall was much higher. It was once again asked to be withdrawn for a co champion title for the same reason. - copy cat Blendos started appearing and would tear each other apart - Blendo is in the robot hall of fame - Blendo is too strong and powerful
I’ve said “I hate this” so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because “I hate this” is just shorthand for ‘this is an example of a meme given a twist I wasn’t expecting with intent to surprise’. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it.
But this… This is something else.
The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind.
For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun?
….I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE
it is a YMCA reference - that’s one of the 6 memes being represented here
ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1)
this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2)
“man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3)
‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4)
and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5)
which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6)
(but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think i’ve ever seen. the initial ‘young man’ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme ‘gun’ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better)
I wasn’t going to reblog this, but @pagesofkenna‘s comprehensive meme-by-meme annotation is a thing of beauty and should be shared.
average tumblr post contains one meme, this post, which contains six, is an outlier and should not be counted
it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpg’s format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000’s rage comics
I was getting a political compass vibe too
tag urself im man door hand hook car gun
This works better than I thought it would.
This was in my senior project
I’m not sorry.
EIGHT MEME COMBO
FATALITY
We have officially created a new language
I just had to do it to em
THIS FUCKING THREAD I’M GONNA CRY
I LOST IT AND MAN DOOR HAND HOOK CAR GUN AND DIDN’T EXPECT MORE I’M SOBBING
M E M E T E N
OwO?
W o w
You know I had to
I hope you know this is the most cursed addition to my post, and I love it
THIRTEEN!?
SOMEONE EDIT THIS FROM THE ORIGINAL PHOTO SAYING “this one does not spark joy” TO THIS VERSION SAYING “this one sparks joy”
well i added my contribution : )
why—
IM SCREAMING
This is the most elaborate meme I have ever seen and damn am I concerned by how it makes sense.
“You’re in your 30s, but you still understand all this meme stuff?” “Oh yeah, sure.” “Can you explain it to me?” “I absolutely fucking cannot.”
getting notes from gays is so easy yall really see the words tender, yearning and britney spears and just fucking slam the reblog button this was a test and you all failed i love us
Famous children’s author Roald Dahl was surrounded by his family when he died. His last words were almost, “You know, I’m not frightened. It’s just that I will miss you all so much” -but he fell unconscious for a time.
Then a nurse came in to ease his passing by injecting him with morphine, and when the needle pricked his skin, he muttered “Ow, fuck!” just before dying.
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